Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Real Me

1. It only took me 4 years to realize that while my husband is incredibly romantic, I am lacking in that area. I love being romanced, but apparently doing the romancing does not come naturally to me.. Poor guy. I do try though!

2. While my incredibly adorable 3yr old loves singing "Ring Around the Rosie," I can't stand it. To my knowledge, that nursery rhyme was written about the Black Death in England and find it more suitable for a theme song of a scary movie than for playground fun.

3. My house is always in order. There is hardly a time when things aren't in their place... And for the most part, it is usually pretty clean.. However.. If inspected closely, you will find three things that are usually dirty because I can't stand cleaning them:
  • My bathroom sink: Always full of toothpaste, hair & makeup leftovers. Gross, I know. My husband can't stand it. Good thing we each have our own.
  • The inside of the microwave: I have TRIED and TRIED to keep this thing clean.. I even bought one of those plastic covers for when you heat up your food, but somehow it still manages to get dirty.
  • The coils on the stove: If I am being honest, I have cleaned those things ONCE since we got the house 4 years ago. I don't know what it is.. They are just really annoying to clean!
4. I laugh when people get hurt. I know. It is a HORRIBLE characteristic, but something in me can't help it. I have tried soooo hard to make sure the person is okay first before breaking into a deep manly belly laugh, but haven't quite tackled that one. I'm sorry if you are someone I have laughed at. It's not that I don't care, it's just things tickle me that shouldn't. 

5. Taking a nap on the couch sounds awful to me. It's not the sleeping that sounds bad, it's the waking up on the couch. I am literally a straight up mean person if I fall into a deep sleep on the couch and wake up realizing I'm not in my bed. Oh, and if this happens at night and I have to get up just so I can go upstairs to go back to sleep... Lord help any human being or inanimate object in my way. 

6. I am an awful laugher. What does that mean? Well, not only do I sound like a man, but my body goes crazy on me. I either have to stomp, hit or rock back-n-forth until I'm done. I may or may not look like I am having a seizure. And on top of all of that, all my chins come out and I just look like I gained 500 pounds. 

7. I was in Honors/Advanced English classes all through my education. I've always been a pretty good writer, reader, speller, etc.. But to this day I can't spell vacuum correctly (I totally just had to use spell check by the way). I want to spell it vaccum. It seems more natural to put in two "C's" rather than "U's." Oh, and "restaurant." That one kills me. Takes me 5 tries until spell check stops yelling at me.

8. I can't stand a messy house, but the car is a different story. I won't throw my trash on the floor, but will only clean it out when all the cubbies, cup holders and other nooks and crannies are full of trash that has accumulated because of me. 

9. I am the worst person to watch "Frozen Planet" or "Planet Earth" or any other nature series with. I not only have huge moral dilemmas in watching it, but I verbalize my every thought. If you were in our house, you might hear a conversation like this.. with myself:

"Oh no! Don't go after the baby! Ugh. I hate that. Jerks"
"Ugh. Well now it's injured! Just kill it. Stop letting it suffer!!!"

(if the predator doesn't get the prey...)

"Oh... poor guy.. Now he's hungry.."

Unfortunately, this is no exaggeration and it happens with every predator/prey encounter. Yes, my husband is a saint.

10. Along with being an ugly laugher, I'm an ugly sleeper. I snore, sleep with my mouth open and have to wear a retainer. Oh, and I do have the occasional talking in my sleep. Hot, right?! But the cool part is, the love of my life kisses me goodbye every morning, regardless of my unattractiveness when out cold....